Please get out.
Long have our people existed together on this planet. We've had our differences. But this invasion of personal space must stop. So far your people have been:
- Inside cracks in the tiles
- Between the door and door frame
- Hanging from the ceiling
- In the exhaust fan
- Under the shampoo bottle
- Behind the shampoo bottle
- Under the shower head
- On the shower head
- Hanging from the shower head
- In my towel
- In my shirt
- In my underwear!! (I don't care if it's clean you perverts!)
- In my bed (not on a first date, please)
I have been crawled on, bitten, hit, and landed on, humiliated, sexually harassed, and coerced into different routes of travel. No more! (Unless I get scared.) I understand that for millennia your people have been stepped on, gassed, etc. but that really doesn't compare. Just this morning something buzzed in my ear and made me jump out of bed. I searched the covers, the pillows, under the mattress, my hair, my clothes. Nothing! Why do you do this?
I exited the shower today and there was a spider in my shirt. Who knows what sort of party they had in there. So now I sit shirtless, cold, and shivering. This is what you're doing to people on a global scale. Already millions have been displaced from the room they currently wish to be in because of bug encounters.
Bugs are also why I'm single. Every time things are going well a bug appears. I tried to ask a girl out once and there was a bug there and I couldn't do it. She and I could have had at least two or three (human) children by now, depending on the recovery time she needed. The divorce rate goes up every spring when bugs appear. I wonder why that is??? I don't think it's a coincidence.
And another thing: bugs are very distracting. I saw a woman at a cafe once trying to write something and a fly kept circling her. It was buzzing. Very distracting I imagine. How would you like it if a human ran around you singing "la la la la"? Not very much.
I think I've made my point. Please, Lady Bug... if you're reading stop this madness! Just let us live our lives.